#2641
February 2nd, 2003
Date: 02/02/2003
From: MickeyTheGardener
SIlence falls over NOTEUROPE.
Mayor Fishback stands alone, silent. The crowd that usually gathers onthis day is not to be found. It may be the cold weather, it may be the fact that because of budget cuts, there's no buffet this year, it may be because of KTMA ActionNews reporter Joe Don Baker's incredible b.o., but let's not kid ourselves....
Mayor Fishback: (Throws his arm in the air and hastears in his eyes and he rips off his shirt): SQUEEEEEEEEEEEECKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
President of the I Hate awn Club
President of the John Lee Supertaster Fan Club
Post Narc x4
This reply was in the real world. Well, our real world, not the real world. And not that MTV show. That Puck is bad news.
#2642
Back in the fake reality
Date: 02/02/2003
From: MickeyTheGardener
Linky is being chased by PM's henchmen Tork, STG, and Dumbschmoe (The Asian Assasin). Suddenly as things look bad for Linky, all three members of GROPE are taken out almost flawlessly.
Schmoe: You...you're Frodo to me (dies)
Linky: W...what? Who?
Lita: Why was I called here?
Linky: Lita? Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod....can I have your autograph?
Lita: Of course, who shall I make thi....can we just get to the pont?
Linky: Oh.....world's supposed to be different because some hoser made a wish. You know the alternate reaility drill.
Lita: Oh. That. But I like my show!
Linky: Oh I do too.
Lita: I don't want to give it up. Why, the only thing I like more than my show is my *sniff* my clones.
Linky: What f I were to give you some information that would once and for all connect the nefarious Pharaoh Mobius with the murders of your clones.
Lita: Pharaoh Who b.s.?
Linky: Let's talk. See I have dossiers, recordings, microfilm...
Lita: Microfilm? Wow, that stuff really exists?
Linky: Yeah, professional operation. Anyway, all of them lead to a startling conclusion. Pharaoh Mobius funded the murder of your clones. He hired a guy codenmed Dipshit Turdknocker.
Lita: Cute name.
Linky: We believe it's an alias. One of PM's henchmen, Evil Mike tried to stop him but was captured after it was too late.
Lita: Wow. Where'd you learn all of this?
Linky: (Holds up a National Enquier with Lita on the cover) Tabloids.
Lita: Huh. I didn't know I was dating Justin Timberlake.
Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
President of the I Hate Dawn Club
President of the John Lee Supertaster Fan Club
Post Narc x4
That Justin Timberlake is bad news.
Red Light
#2643
Justin Timberlake??!!1?!
Date: 02/02/2003
From: Carmelita9000
..Out of Continuity..
............................................................
Anything he says about me is lies! All lies! This alternate reality is getting plehhier all the time! Is there no sunshine in this world?
<Sunshine walks up to Lita and kicks both her shins. When Lita falls down Sunshine spits in her hair, then leaves.>
I guess that answers that question.
Oh. And Tom Servo makes a cute Brownie Scout
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
#2644
Well I wanted to write the next reply
Date: 02/02/2003
From: MickeyTheGardener
but first.....................
It is all your fault I'm in this mess, you know. You kicked me out of GROPE and don't give me that old Blahplestien flu excuse!!!
And I'm sorry, tabloids hate Bono. He's too squeaky clean and there's no air of mystery about him. Now, Justin is reeking of his ex. Just because it's a tabloid doesn't mean it's true and you could be dating Bono. Who knows?
So there
MTG etc
#2645
Lita and Linky return to White Hat HQ
Date: 02/02/2003
From: MickeyTheGardener
Linky: What's going on here? Why isn't gardener in the incenarator yet?
Sam: Hey, you try lifting this turkey.
Linky: Oh he can't be that ba...(tries lifting Mickey). OK
Manute: (sniffs) Ugh. Smells like poker night.
Lita: Ewwwww....he does. Er, not that I would ever know what poker night smells like. Not a nice girl like me. Heh heh
Linky: I recognize that smell. It's the mark of Ortegaka. He's a patron saint of scorned members of revenge seeking elite squads.
Lita: Really? That's interesting. Saaaaaaay....when do we get to the part about the bastard that murdred my clones?
Linky: Just head to GROPE headquarters and take care of things on your end. I need to look up this Ortegaka angle further.
(Manute, Sam, and Lita glare at Linky)
Linky: OK, I got a new catnip shipment. But I swear I'll look things up later.
Lita: Fine. I want to get back to the set anyway. I can't stand being around you people anyway. (Leaves)
Sam: She's nice.
(A few minutes later, Lita arrives at GROPE hq)
Voice: You. Over here. In the cage.
Lita: (Sniff) Eeeyugh! Any of you people bathe?
Evil Mike: If I could, I wou...actually I probably wouldn't. I'm evil like that. Let me out.
Lita: Are you aware of this word that we use in the real world. It's called please.
Evil Mike: Again. Evil.
Lita: Is this a get in my pants thing?
Evil Mike: Well *obviously*. Girls.
Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
President of the I Hate Dawn Club
President of the John Lee Supertaster Fan Club
Post Narc x4
Geez. Duh, Lita.
Red Light
#2646
<It's that time of the semester again>
Date: 02/03/2003
From: Tork_110
<Tork is at the campus of his college. (The motto: Don't laugh at our turtle.) He is walking to his first class when he notices a couple of circles on the ground.>
Tork: Hmm, that's weird.
<Tork walks some more and he notices that someone has drawn a picture of a butt on the ground with chalk.>
Tork: Oh, geez.
<Tork walks some more and sees another picture of a butt, this time with a picture of an arrow poining to the middle of it.>
Tork: What is this, graffiti from Nuke University?
<Before long, Tork sees another picture, right next to some colorful commentary about that particular area of the body.>
Tork: What the hell?!!?
<Tork sees some people who are drawing another picture.>
Tork: Umm, excuse me...
Person 1 (for lack of a better discription): Yes?
Tork: What are you doing?
Person 2 (there are more people, but we can only afford so many speaking roles): We're drawing.
Tork: Yes. I've noticed.
<someone draws "ass" in giant letters>
....
Tork: Why?
Person 1: Have you ever wondered what an ass would say?
Tork: ...
Person 2: Now you can find out at the Rectum Monologues.
Tork: ...
<they give Tork a pamphlet. It says, "With guest speaker, Jim Carrey>
...
Tork: Isn't this the part where I wake up?
<Yes. But you'll have to put off Joe Robot for now. This reply has come to an end.>
Tork_110
Red Light
I'm shy, so it's something worth making a joke about.
#2647
I think I missed something...
Date: 02/03/2003
From: ServoTheGreat
I've been real busy, as of late, and I just got back. I read the replies I missed, and I want to make sure I know what's going on...
-Tork is on Joe Robot with Sunday
-Lita, Rimmi, Gramps, Mickey, the clones, and Pooduck are in GROPE HQ
-There's a whole lotta happenings in Alternate Reality Land(Is the real Linky in that world? I'm a bit confused)
-PM's gang is at there bar, where PM's going to walk into a trap in his office
Well, seeing how I have a very loose grip on what's going on, I'm just going to talk about my character at the Fortress...
(Yes, after weeks of sailing, the barge has stopped at the Fortress and dropped off all the prisoners there)
STG: (In his cell) *Sigh* I should've remembered to bring a magazine...
(STG's talking to himself, because the Fortress cells only store one prisoner each. The cells only have a toilet, a bed, and a shoot that food comes out of. Oh, and there's a tightly locked door...)
STG: Oh man, I've been here for 10 minutes, and I'm already going bonkers! I need to escape! But how... I know... (Tears the toilet bowl of the wall, and starts smacking it against the wall) Gotta get this into the right shape... (STG then breaks the bed into pieces, and starts bending the pieces into shapes) Man, this'd be easier if I had my other hand...
(Meanwhile guards gather around STG's cell door)
Guard #1: What the hell is all that noise?
Guard #2: Sounds like he's flipping out or something.
Guard #3: Yeah, well get your shock staffs ready, we're going in.
(The guard inputs numbers onto the pad attached to STG's door. It opens slowly, and there's no light in the room. STG must have broke the light)
Guard #2: The hell?
(And then, BAM! STG comes charging out with his make-shift armor on. He's turned the pieces of the bed into body armor, and the toilet bowl into a helmet. He looks like a small version of the X-Men's Juggernaut)
STG: AAAAAAAAA!!! (Pushes over the guards as he runs, flailing down the hall)
Juggernaut: (Yes, he's in jail here too, and as STG runs by his cell) Go, little Juggernaut! GO!
STG: (After running for a while) And now to knock down the wall with my head! (STG runs right into it, and immediately gets knocked right onto his back) Oh, my head...
(The guards catch up, and surround STG)
STG: ...Back into the cell... Right?
(All the guards just nod)
(Later, back in his destroyed cell...)
STG: Yup... A magazine would sure be nice...
ServoTheGreat
I'm Back! And I'm gonna do it right this time!
#2648
OK STG, get out your Aleve
Date: 02/03/2003
From: MickeyTheGardener
Here's what we got:
The real Mickey is not at GROPE HQ. Before the alternate reality, real Mickey was last seen in Canada. By creating the alternate reality, he was sucked into it. Stay tuned to see how he comes back to life. (Real Linky is wherever she was when we last saw her. As well as all the other real characters. Alternate realities always cause headaches :o) )
Hope that clears it up.
And I believe Joe Robot's on Mondays, not Sunday. Oh, you meant the character, my bad.
MTG etc
#2649
Also, STG...
Date: 02/03/2003
From: Carmelita9000
............................................................
Lita and her clones may or may not be at GROPE HQ. At the end of the last reply they were in MSTBlanca. They expressed a desire to go back to GROPE HQ pretty soon, but nobody's written them going there yet. While it's possible they left immediately after the reply ended and went back to GROPE HQ, since nobody actually said they did, you probably shouldn't assume this. Besides, 6969 never got back from whatever she was doing with PM.
Mickey is definitely not in GROPE HQ. He was thrown out of GROPE, and then he went to an alternate universe. Until he gets out of the alternate universe, he shall not return to GROPE HQ.
I think everything else you got though.
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
#2650
[Lita] Come on! We have to get ou--
Date: 02/04/2003
From: PharaohMobius
<<<RP Reply Mode>>>
[Lita turns to see PM and 6969 walking toward them. PM's pharaoh hat is on slightly crooked, and his top shirt button's undone. 6969's hair is a bit mussed up, as are her clothes. Lita shakes her head disapprovingly at her clone.]
[Lita] *ahem* And what have you been up to, young lady? >:o(
[6969] Oh, Pharaoh baby was just showing me something, that's all. *giggle*
[Lita] I thought I told you to keep your clothes on.
[6969] But I *did*!
[Lita42, disgusted.] Umm, your top is on backwards.
[6969, feigning surprise.] Oh my goodness! You mean I left the house like this?
[Lita] Don't. Just, don't. Let's get out of here, Litas.
[PM] Wait a minute.
[Lita] What? We can't stick around here! We've got... umm... stuff to do!
[PM] No, this is important.
[Lita] Okay. You've got one minute.
[PM] I've been thinking.
[Lita] You mean for a *change*?
[Lita42] *snort*
[PM] Now, listen! We were all friends before I started this whole thing. I offended you and Rimmi, you got revenge on me, and it all started spiralling out of control. I want to make a peace offering. You know, to patch things up between us.
[Lita] You're just saying that because you want to see more of 6969.
[6969] Oh, I'd say he's seen just about eve--
[Lita] *AHEM!!1!* >:o(
[6969] *giggle*
[PM blushes.] No, that's not it. I miss having you all as friends. And I think our friendship is worth saving.
[Lita] Oh, so you think you can just make nice any old time you want? *We* declared revenge on *you*! It's not your place to bury the hatchet!!!
[PM] I know that. All I can do is offer an olive branch, and let you take it only if you want to.
[Lita42] An "olive branch", eh?
[Lita] Huh. I don't know about this...
[PM] I also want to give all of you gifts to make up for all I've done. Just to show there's no hard feelings.
[Lita] I... I think you're serious.
[PM] You're darned right I'm serious! I've been thinking about this a lot lately. You guys have been some of the best friends I've had. And so, I've made all of you gifts. It took quite a bit of time and effort, but I want you to have them.
[Lita] ... [To her clones.] Well, what do you think, girls?
[8714] He *does* seem sincere...
[Lita42] Yes, but he's a devious villain. He's good at faking that sort of thing.
[6969] Oh, he's not *that* bad! He's really pretty sweet when you get to know him. Especially when he--
[Lita42] *Stop!!!* Do you *want* me to stop eating altogether?!?
[Lita] Well, I'll agree he seems sincere. And, he's bearing gifts. So I think we should accept his apology.
[Lita42] Okay, if you say so. But let's make it clear that we don't speak for Rimmi and the others.
[Lita] Definitely. [To PM.] Okay, we accept your apology.
[PM] Great! Let me go get your gifts... [He starts walking into his office.]
[Lita] No don't--!!
[But it's too late. In seconds, the bucket is resting perfectly over PM's head, and white paint is running down onto the floor.]
[PM pulls the bucket off of his head. He stares incredulously at the Litas and sputters a bit to get paint out of his mouth.]
[Lita] Oh PM. I'm so so--
[PM] Get out.
[Lita] We did that before we knew you wanted t--
[PM] I *said* get out!
[Lita42 snickers, and soon all four of the Litas are trying to hold back laughter.]
[Lita, wiping away a tear.] I'm sorry, PM. You just look so silly...
[PM] Oh, that tears it. [He pulls out a nasty-looking ray pistol and fires it at the ceiling. Bits of plaster and gumby clay clatter to the floor. The Litas jump back, startled.] I take back my apology! Yeah! I *un*apologize to every last one of you! All GROPErs are big, fat, slutty dorks! Now get the pleh out of my bar!
[Lita42] Does this mean that we don't get our presents?
[PM starts shooting in their general direction (not coming anywhere near hitting them, mind you).] OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT!!!1!
[The Litas run out of MSTBlanca, screaming. They climb into Spidey and head back for GROPE headquarters.]
[6969] Way to go, Lita!
[Lita42] Yeah! You lost us our presents!
[Lita] Oh, right. Like you all didn't have anything to do with this.
[8714] True, but we were just following orders.
[Lita] ... >:o(
TmPM
Mortimer, we're back in the revenge business!
Sarcophagus!
#2651
<Tork talks to the camera>
Date: 02/04/2003
From: Tork_110
[Tork: I'm not going to lie. This has already been a humiliating experience.]
<Tork is on the set for Joe Robot. He is talking to the butler.>
Tork: How many episodes are we suppose to shoot?
Butler: 13.
<BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT>
Butler: Uh, looks like ten now.
<BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT>
Butler: Errr, eight.
<BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT>
Butler: Six.
Tork: Why so low? There are plenty of women.
Butler: There were, but that one woman is scaring the others away.
Tork: Meh, you get use to being chased by a chainsaw after a while.
[Tork: (to camera) Sunday reminds me of this girl I used to know who had a big crush on me. Except for the chainsaw. And the constant threats. And the beatings. And the stalking. And the fact that she's a vampire. But the humiliation - that hasn't changed.]
<We cut to the Leech Woman, who is wearing a dress and waiting for Tork.>
[Leech Woman: (to camera) I've been waiting for this chance to meet this prince charming. Imagine a guy that I can hit with my pineal ring without killing him. *sigh*]
<Tork runs up to LW.>
Tork: HimynameisTorkI'msogladtomeetyouHereletmeshakeyourhandYouhaveniceeyesIhopeyouareenjoyingyourtimehereuhohSundayiscomingIgottogo.
<Tork runs away. Sunday is in hot pursuit.>
Leech Woman: I wonder...
<Tork has gotten away from Sunday, and is looking for the butler.>
Tork: Where the heck is he? <See? Proof that he's doing what I said.>
<Tork here's a siren outside.>
Tork: Thank God! The police are here.
<Tork runs to the front door only to see a body being taken to an ambulance.>
Tork: Oh my....What happened?
Camera man: The butler was killed.
Tork: WHAT?!!?
Camera man: They found a hole in the back of his neck. They're questioning the pale blonde chick right now.
<In another room.>
Leech Woman: <whistles innocently> I have enough pineal juice to last until I win.
<Back to the other room>
Tork: This is dangerous. Someone, like me, could get killed.
Camera man: HAHAHA, you robots are funny.
Tork: But...
<Tork is not allowed to protest anymore, because soon the cameras are rolling.>
[Tork: (to camera) What was I thinking!!? FOX!!?! Of course someone was going to die.]
<later...>
[Sunday: (to camera) Did I win yet? ...Well? ... WELL??? ]
[BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT]
[Sunday: (to camera) I think it's rude when a man doesn't answer a ladies question. Or clean up his own blood.]
Tork_110
This reply really didn't go anywhere, did it?
Yellow Light
#2652
Way to stretch your reply, Tork!
Date: 02/04/2003
From: Carmelita9000
And now for a reply of my own!
*********************************************************
Rimmi: He did WHAT???
<The Litas have returned to the lair and they're sitting on the couch. Lita has just finished telling Rimmi everything that happened, though she had to speak up a bit to be heard over Lita6969, who is crying on her shoulder. Pooduck is sitting on Lita6969's lap, trying to be helpful.>
Lita: He said everybody in GROPE is fat!
42: Actually, he said we were all "big fat slutty dorks."
Rimmi: He called me a slut *again*??
Lita: Yeah! And then he shot at us!
42: He tried to kill us!
8714: And all because of some stupid paint!
Rimmi: Geez. Overreacting, much? I'll kick his ass!! ...Why is Lita6969 crying so much?
Lita: <she tries to tread carefully here, since it's a sensitive subject> She... was under the impression... that PM... was a somewhat nicer person than he turned out to be.
<Lita6969 cries loudly here, and Lita pats her sympathetically.>
Rimmi: Oh, geez. She had sex with him again, didn't she?
6969: *sob* Only a little...
Rimmi: And then he shot at you. Well that's gentlemanly. What a... <words fail her> Geez, Lita, why did you even let your clone go off with him? PM is the enemy!
Lita: Hey! For your information, I told her several times not to-- <Lita6969 is looking up at Lita with big eyes. Lita struggles mightily and overcomes the overwhelming urge to say "I told you so."> *sigh* I knew what Phfarfoahafa was like when we went over there. I also knew 6969 always did have trouble resisting that kind of temptation. I should never have let 6969 wander off with him alone.
Rimmi: For crying out loud, Lita6969 made her own decision. She has a mind of her own! She's a grown woman!
<Lita actually kind of agrees with Rimmi. But she always feels compelled to take her clone's side--especially considering that said clone is sitting right there and is visibly upset.>
Lita: Poor Lita6969 was deceived. I'm sure she tried to be strong, but then PM said all kinds of nice things to her and fed her lots of sweet-talk, and--
Rimmi: Yeah, I'm sure that's what happened. PM is a real pig!
42: You know what, I think he tricked all of us! He was talking about a truce and everybody being friends again, and giving us presents and stuff. But since when do you shoot at your friends and call them fat sluts?
Lita: I don't.
42: Exactly! That truce was all another one of his evil plots! He was trying to lull us into a false sense of security so that we'd be off-guard and then he could spring some horrible evil trap!
Lita: Wow! What an evil <here Lita calls PM something nasty that I don't care to repeat>!!
Rimmi: Lita6969, I know you're not officially a member of GROPE, but considering what Pharty Monkius did, if you'd like to join now, you may.
6969: *sniff* No... thank you for the offer... but revenge really isn't my thing.
Lita: We understand.
6969: Excuse me... I'd like to be alone for a while. <she hands Pooduck back to Lita42, and leaves the room>
Lita: Poor thing. She's too trusting, really. It never occurs to her that a person might not have the best of intentions until *after* she--
Rimmi: That bastard is totally gonna get it now. We here at GROPE have been off track for a while, but now we're gonna get back to what we're all about! Getting Revenge On Pharaohs, Eh?
42: I thought we were the Get Revenge On PM Elite Squad.
Rimmi: Whatever the hell we are! We need to gather our forces for our latest revenge! Where's Mickey?
Lita: He got thrown out of GROPE when we all had the Blahphehstian Flu, and we forgot to let him back in. Nobody's seen him since.
8714: Does that mean he's not a big fat slutty dork?
Lita: I guess so.
Rimmi: But Tork is still a big fat slutty dork!-- er... I mean, He's a member of GROPE. Where is he?
Lita: He wandered off again. I have no idea where he is. <Apparently GROPE has little time for TV watching, they haven't seen a single episode of Joe Robot.>
Rimmi: That's annoying.
Lita: Evil Mike is still hanging around.
Rimmi: Good.
8714: I know I'm not in GROPE, but PM really pissed me off anyway. If you need me to build something for you, I'll be glad to.
Rimmi: Good! Now were getting somewhere! PM will never know what hit him! By the time we're done with him... well... he'll be really sorry! He's gonna pay!
Litas: YEAH!!1!!
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
has no idea what Rimmi's plan is.
Green light
#2653
STG: I got it!
Date: 02/04/2003
From: ServoTheGreat
(After days of sitting in his cell, STG has devised a plan to escape!)
STG: Everyday, at exactly this time, that big cart comes to collect laundry. When it comes to my room, I'll slip into it, and ride it the laundry room. I'm assuming that there will be an exit there... I guess... Well, I gotta try something...
(Outside the door the motorized cart approaches. A tube sticks out and connects to a port on STG's cell's wall. The tube sucks out the dirty laundry into the cart. STG hides in the pile, and gets sucked through too.)
STG: (Moving through the tube rather slowly) Ow, ow, OW! This thing is smaller than I thought... OW!
(Eventually STG makes it into the storage unit of the cart.)
STG: Eeew... Prison laundry... Oh well, I'm on my way out! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...
(As the cart passes two guards)
Guard #1: Um, is the laundry laughing?
Guard #2: Geez, it's coming to life or something. That stuff really needs to be washed...
(Later the cart pulls up into the laundry room...)
STG: So close to freedom... I think... I can't see anything. Where the hell am I?
(The tube comes out of the cart again, and attaches to a large washing machine. Everything inside it gets pushed into it)
STG: Whoa! AAAAAAA!!!
(The giant washing machine starts to run)
STG: *Splash* *Gurgle* *DROWN*
(You can see through the giant glass door STG getting tossed back and forth in the spin cycle. STG then slams against the door of the machine, and it opens up. STG flops against the floor. His hair and clothes are all wet, and sagging, and he's laying, gasping for air.)
STG: *huff* *huff* Whew... (STG gets up, and low and behold, an exit!) Hey, there are exits near the laundry room!
(Yup, an exit. It's just a normal push door, with a glowing red 'exit' sign over it. STG walks out.)
STG: Well, now to go ho... (STG face drops as he sees that the Fortress is on one creepy ass island. The facility is centered on the tiny island, surrounded by the shores, which are covered by jagged rocks. He also sees many guards at posts with shock sticks, and giant, chicken leg, gatling gun armed, robots patroling the shores.) Uh huh...
(STG hides behind a rock as several guards and a robot walk by)
STG: Damn it, how am I gonna get out of here?
???: (Whispering) Hey, you! Get over here!
(STG crawls over, and sees that it's the super sucky, X-men villian, Toad.(God I hate him))
Toad: Eh, you, I've dug a tunnel that'll take us all the way back to the mainland! Now I need your help to carry these provisions...
STG: (Pushes Toad over, and grabs the supplies) Give me that, loser! (Runs into the tunnel and closes it behind him, so Toad's stuck on the island)
Toad: Damn it! If he were still here I'd whip him with my tongue! (One of those robots walks up behind Toad)
Robot: TERMINATE ESCAPEE! (Blasts Toad into a million pieces(Yeah!))
STG: (Crawling through the tunnel) Ha, I'm doin' it! I'm on my way to freedom!
(STG reaches the end of the tunnel. It's closed as well)
STG: (Starts opening the hole) I wonder where this tunnel takes me anyway? It better not be anywhere in Europe. I hate Europe...
(He breaks the hole open)
Where's STG? Find out later. Cause I'm not too sure right now...
ServoTheGreat
GREEN LIGHT
Yeah, Toad's dead!
#2654
(Several, and I mean several hours later
Date: 02/06/2003
From: MickeyTheGardener
Rimmi sees Evil Mike's cage)
Rimmi: Uh oh, who let the puppy out?
Lita: (Her hairs messed up and her clothes are on backwards) Don't look at me!
Rimmi: Wow! Carmelita9000!
Lita: You've heard of me?
Rimmi: Yeah, I hate your show!
(Rimmi and Lita get each other in a headlock. Mysteriously, there clothes come off in the battle)
Lita: Ack! My clothes! My valuable clothes!
PM: (Looking on) Oh, I wish Tork were here to see this.
(Meanwhile)
Sam: I hope this works. That Castro turkey is so unmellow. (Dumps several Cuban cigars on the table)
Linky: OK (Looks at a book) Uh oh....anyone know Latin?
(Back to MSTBlanca)
Lita: (Handling herself pretty well) And *this* (Punches Rimmi) is for when Evil Mike said he'd call me in the morning! And *this*...
Rimmi: Ow ow...ok! Geez! Your show isn't that bad! Except for the 3rd season.
Lita: I.....liked that season! Die, bitch!
PM: Girls, girls....there's no need for violence. Unless there's mud or Jello.
Lita: More Cheez its!
PM: Er...close enough.
Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
President of the I Hate Dawn Club
President of the John Lee Supertaster Fan Club
Post Narc x4
Ooooooh...cliffhangey!
Red Light!
#2655
<Now it's your turn to vote!>
Date: 02/10/2003
From: Tork_110
<Tork is talking to one of the finalists.>
Tork: ...So I spend several days trying to find the error. It turns out that I used a colon where I should have used a semicolon. After that, my code compiled properly. True story.
<Tork waits for a response from the lady, until finally...>
Tork: Umm, I think she's dead.
Promo - America has made Joe Robot it's number one show. And after 4 episodes, Joe is going to choose his bride...WITH YOUR HELP!! Yes, you can call our toll free number or go to our website and vote now!
Will it be Sunday - the sweet blonde who will kill anything between her and her robot?
Or will it be widow June Talbot - the drunk who always runs away whenever she and Joe gets close - probably to get more drunk?
Stay tuned to see the reaction on the face of the bride when she learns that Joe isn't who he seems.
[Tork: My name isn't Joe!]
And afterwards, our newest show, Dievorce, where we'll trick a woman into marrying a serial killer.
Tork_110
You are watching FOX.
#2656
Tork: I'm very nervous.
Date: 02/10/2003
From: Tork_110
<Tork is talking to the camera by himself.>
Tork: Tonight, they're going to tally the votes. Whoever has more votes, I'm going to marry. I could be marrying Ms. Talbot, but she keeps running away from me. Plus, Sunday will probably kill her anyway. Of course, Sunday could be the winner. Then she would kill Ms. Talbot. So basically it could go either way.
<Tork, Sunday, and the Leech Woman are brought before a live audience. There is a priest standing by. The audience cheers as the trio sits down. They await for...something.>
<Finally, the Annoying Host Guy from WAAAAAAAY back in the rp appears. Everyone cheers again. He is carrying a jar with him.>
Tork: Who the hell are you?
<Tork bites his tongue, remembering that a priest is nearby.>
Annoying Host Guy: Well, just for that, I won't ask you questions about your adventures.
Tork: <jumps up on his feet> Whoo hoo!
Sunday: So do I get to marry Tork? Just say yes, and I'll spare everyone.
Audience: Awww...
Random Audience Member: That's why she's America's sweet heart.
Annoying Host Guy: Patience. It's time to tally the votes.
All three: ?????!!?!?!
<AHG takes the jar that he's holding, and opens it. There are thousands and thousands of votes. He starts counting them.>
AHG: Sunday. June. June. Sunday. That's two votes Sunday, two votes June.
<We cut back and forth to the reunion special of Dexter's Class while this goes on.>
AHG: Sunday. That's 2355 Sunday, 2345 June.
<Fox shows celebrity boxing between John Madden and Pat Summerall. I still say it was rigged.>
AHG: June. Ok, that's it. We're down to the final vote.
Tork: Finally!
Leech Woman: Can I take his pineal juice now?
AHG: June has 49500 votes.
Tork: Wow, that's pretty low for a top rated show. And even.
AHG: Sunday has 50000 votes.
Sunday: I won!! Now you have to marry me!!
<Sunday celebrates.>
AHG: Halle Barry has 20 million votes.
Sunday: WHAT?!!?
Tork: Cool.
AHG: Halle Barry is the winner. Unfortunately, since she wasn't a part of the show, she's disqualified, and there will be no wedding.
Sunday: I was defeated....BY MILLIONS OF GAG VOTES?
Tork: I'm just going to take my money and go. <looks at camera quickly> Hey kids, don't trust Dawn!
<Tork runs away. Leech Woman walks up to AHG.>
Leech Woman: There's something on the back of your neck.
AHG: Oh, would you get it for me? It's almost time for the post interview...Sunday! Stop chasing the priest with that chainsaw.
Sunday: Well, he started it!
Tork_110
And democracy triumphs!!!
Green light.
#2657
The Final Battle
Date: 02/12/2003
From: MickeyTheGardener
but first...................
Linky: *cough cough* This is taking forever. *cough*
Sam: Hey, it takes time for cigars to get the right stink.
Linky: I hope this is worth it. I'm too young to smoke.
Sam: It makes you look cooler. The ears, they're all wrong.
(Ortegaka appears)
Linky: Finally! You know how long (Sees his face) Oh...are you sure this is the guy? I was expecting someone less....repulsive.
Ortegaka: Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sam: Cigar? Heh heh....don't kill me nice monster.
(Ortegaka takes the cigar)
Manute: Manute sense Monica Lewinsky joke forthcoming.
Sam: Hey, Mon...oh way to steal my thunder, turkey.
Linky: Now give me the necklace. Give, give...
Ortegaka: No way! It's all I have left to remember my father! That dear, dear man.
Sam: (Sneaking up behind Ortegaka) Yoink! (Takes the necklace)
Ortegaka: Poopy.
(Meanwhile.....)
PM: Ah, Carmelita9000. At last we meet. Love the show!
Lita: Thanks. Now about my clothes.
PM: What about the clones?
Lita: Hey, first things first. I'm cold.
PM: I can tell. (smiles)
Lita: Why you slimy piece of sh...(The door swings open and it's....Carmelita...5738????)
5738: I'll take care of him, Lita. You don't need to get Pharaoh blood in your perfect hair.
Lita: Why thank you.
5738: Now, I...(Another door swings open)
Gramps: Ha, I've escaped whippersnapper, and now....(5738 shoots him) Oh, what irony (dies)
Lita: 5738!
5738: Sorry, just being careful.
(Unbeknownst to the Litas, PM has snuck away and is about to untie the chandalier hanging above the Litas)
(A neat scene, which is hard to do in a narrative, ensues. As the chandalier descends, Linky proceeds to smash the necklace with a rock. We switch back and forth from chandalier to necklace untill the necklace is destroted!!!!)
(Back in the real world)
Mickey: Sorry, I don't have any spare change.
Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
President of the I Hate Dawn Club
President of the John Lee Supertaster Fan Club
Post Narc x4
Woooo! I'm back, baby!
Green light!
Next up: SPOOOOOON!!
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